Dawn dish soap and ducks
When was the last time you needed to wash black, greasy oil from a baby duck?
Still thinking?
Go back deep into your memory to dig up that one time you were hanging out in Alaska and you ran with haste to go wash ducks after a particularly nasty oil spill from an oil tanker.
Remember? Of course you don’t!
In fact, I’m guessing this never happened to you. If it did, please go away because you’re going to ruin the rest of this story.
But here’s what I’m getting at…
Unless you’re a professional duck washer (or even just a washer of generic water fowl — let’s not go getting all hyper-specific), I’m guessing you’ve NEVER had to or have NEVER been called upon to wash ducks.
NEVER.
So I have to ask…
When was the last time you went to the supermarket or Walmart or wherever looking specifically for duck-washing soap?
(I’ll just wait here picking gunk out of my toenails while you think about it.)
Time’s up! Answer?
NEVER.
There I am, going up and down the aisles with my shopping cart with the one jangly, squeaky wheel, looking for “stuff”.
Down this aisle… back up that one, finally hitting the aisle of soap.
Bar soap, liquid soap, car-washing soap, toe-washing soap (remind me to pick some of that up next time)…
DUCK WASHING SOAP.
It’s right there plunked in with dishwashing liquid.
Did you hear me? DISH WASHING LIQUID.
“Oh look, I’d love to wash my dishes or my car. Think I’ll go looking for some dishwashing soap.”
Can’t find any.
BUT…
I can find duck washing liquid.
Like you, I’ve NEVER had to wash a duck.
But now, just because they make duck washing soap and put it on the shelves, I’m going to have to get some.
Then I’ll have to buy a duck.
Then I’ll have to collect some used car oil, throw it all over the duck, and wash it with the duck washing soap.
I can see where this could lead to a lucrative career in chasing oil spills all over the world and arriving on-scene with my duck washing soap.
Meanwhile, the filthy dishes are filling up in my sink and my car is dirty.
But I’ll always know where to go to stock up on duck washing soap because you NEVER know when you might need some.
It could happen…
