Jiggle The Handle
I wish life came with a handle. A handle just like the one you find on your toilet.
When the toilet is running, what do you do?
Jiggle the handle.
The toilet usually stops running and you can once again go about your business.
Now what if stupid people had handles?
Not love handles. Not carrying handles. But handles you could jiggle so they would stop saying and doing stupid things.
What if someone comes up to you and says something stupid like, “If we just raise taxes, the government will have money and they’ll know what to do with it and they’ll fix everything.”
You could reach out and jiggle the guy’s handle.
May take a few times.
“If we just raise taxes, there’s a possibility that the government will take the money and fix the problem.
Jiggle the handle.
“If we just raise taxes on the wealthy, the government will take the money and do the right thing with it.
“Jiggle the handle
“Look, it’s absolutely stupid to think that the government will get its greedy hands on our money and will do the right thing with it. Heck, they’ll probably just line their pockets or pay off someone they owe money too.”
It may take several jiggles. But in time, stupid people might actually come around.
Ever been in a meeting that was going on and on for way too long?
“And I propose we start this new project because it’s really important even though the last project was really important and oh, look! A squirrel!”
Jiggle the handle.
“We need to start this new project because it’s going to make me look really good to the execs.”
Jiggle the handle.
“Aw who are we kidding? I’ve made a huge mess of things and I’m way over my head. Tell ya what… I’ll just see myself to the door.”
Just think of all the areas of life where jiggling the handle would solve so many problems.
When you’re having an argument with your spouse and she is clearly in the wrong (but you can’t say that out loud).
“There is no way that putting WD-40 on that squeaky door is going to stop the squeak. I can’t believe you’d think that would actually work.”
Jiggle the handle
“Wow honey, you’re my hero! What did you do to the door to stop that annoying squeak?
Of course, there will be times when even jiggling the handle won’t work. Some kinds of stupid are just not-fixable.
So keep this in mind the next time you run into the king or queen of stupid:
Jiggling the handle may not solve the problem…
…but flushing will.
